The Stoic Edge for Managers - Episode 6 - Making meetings work

This episode builds the stoic skillsets a manager needs to be an expert meeting manager. When meetings should be held (and when not), how to ensure everyone gets the best from business meetings, and what to do afterwards, are all covered. 

Thank you for listening. The Stoic Edge is available for all managers and others who feel it would be beneficial to them. Find out more about the company that produces them at www.mymanagementcoach.org

Transcript

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Welcome back to the Stoic Edge Podcast, produced by MyManagement Coach.org. Today we are diving into the heart of the modern corporate battlefield. The meeting room. Whether it's a high-stakes boardroom negotiation, a quick Zoom sync, or a strategic planning session, meetings are where culture is built and where productivity often goes to die. We've all been there, staring at a clock, watching minutes leak away into a void of ego, circular arguments, and lack of direction. But what if we applied a 2,000-year-old philosophy to this modern friction? Today's episode is titled How to Run Effective Meetings While Following Stoic Principles. We're going to explore how the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus can transform your calendar from a source of dread into a masterclass in leadership and efficiency. Before we get into the how-to, let's establish why Stoicism is the ultimate tool for a manager. Stoicism isn't about being emotionless, it's about emotional resilience and the ruthless pursuit of clarity. Here are four key points where Stoicism directly improves meeting quality. First, the dichotomy of control. Most meeting frustration comes from trying to control things we can't, like a colleague's bad attitude or a technical glitch. Stoicism teaches us to focus 100% of our energy on what we can control, our preparation, our response, and our contribution. Secondly, the pursuit of the common good, in Greek, oichiosis. Stoics believed we are part of a larger whole. In a business context, a meeting isn't a platform for your ego, it is a service to the organization. If the meeting doesn't serve the common good, it is a violation of Stoic justice. Third, objective representation. In Greek, fantasia catalepticae. We often see things through a lens of judgment. This person is attacking my idea. The Stoic sees it objectively. This person is offering a differing viewpoint. This clarity prevents emotional hijacking and keeps the meeting on track. Finally, the value of time. Seneca famously said it is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. A stoic manager views the time of their team as a sacred resource. To waste it in a purposeless meeting is an act of disrespect. With these pillars in mind, let's break down the Stoic meeting into three sessions before, during, and after. Let's start at what should be done before the meeting. We'll call this the art of preparation. In the Stoic tradition, the work begins long before the event. A Stoic manager does not wing it. To do so would be a failure of the virtue of wisdom. Before you even send that calendar invite, ask yourself the Stoic question, is this meeting absolutely necessary? Marcus Aurelius asked himself that question daily when he said, Is this necessary? If the information can be shared via a concise email, a quick phone call, or a sharing of information, then do not call a meeting. Respecting the time of others is the first step in Stoic leadership. Stoics use the phrase, premeditatio malorum. This is the practice of negative visualization. Before the meeting, spend five minutes imagining what could go wrong. Perhaps the Wi-Fi fails. Perhaps your lead developer becomes defensive about a deadline. Perhaps the boss interrupts you. By anticipating these evils, you strip them of their power to upset you. You aren't being a pessimist, you are being prepared. When the interruption happens, you don't lose your cool because, in your mind, it has already happened. You remain the calm center of the storm. Then thirdly, there's the setting of the different goals. The Stoic distinguishes between internal and external goals. An external goal could be to get everyone to agree with my proposal. Remember, you cannot control this. The internal goal might be to present the data as clearly as possible and to listen to objections with an open mind. This you can control. If you go in with an internal goal, you cannot fail. You have already won by performing your role with excellence, regardless of the final vote. Let's look now at what to do during the meeting. We'll call this the practice of presence. This is where your character, your arete, is truly tested. When the heat rises and voices get loud, practice seeing things as they are. If a stakeholder says, This plan is a disaster, the stoic doesn't hear an insult. They hear, this person has significant concerns about the current plan. Strip away the disaster label. What are the facts? By removing the emotional coloring, you can address the root of the problem rather than reacting to the tone of voice. Zeno, the founder of Stoicism, said, We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. In today's corporate world, we often speak to fill the silence, or to prove we're the smartest person in the room. A stoic manager speaks only when it adds value. Use the stoic filter, we ask. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If it fails any of these, stay silent. Your silence isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of focus. When you do speak, your words will carry ten times the weight, because they are rare and deliberate. If you are running the meeting, you are the shepherd of the collective energy. If the conversation drifts into gossip or irrelevant tangents, bring it back with stoic firmness. This isn't meeting our objective. Let's return to the agenda. You are acting with justice by ensuring the team's collective time is being used for its highest purpose. If the meeting takes a turn you didn't expect, perhaps a project is cancelled or a budget is slashed, practice amor fati. Don't complain. Don't look for someone to blame. Accept the new reality instantly. Remember the stoic saying the obstacle is the way. Use the new constraint as a catalyst for a new, better solution. The stoic manager is the one who, when the ship starts to leak, is already looking for the bucket, rather than screaming at the waves. So now we come to what to do after the meeting. After the meeting is over and the attendees have left, most managers just jump into the next task. The stoic manager, however, knows that growth happens in reflection. Seneca suggested that at the end of every day, we should review our actions. So, after a meeting, take two minutes to ask yourself. What did I do well? Did I stay calm? Did I listen? Where did I fail? Did I let my ego take the lead? Was I impatient? What will I do differently next time? This isn't about self-negativity, it's about clinical improvement. You are the scientist, and your behavior is the experiment. Remember, once the meeting is done and the minutes are sent, the outcome is no longer in your hands. It belongs to the indifference. Whether the client signs the contract, or the board approves the new hire, or the project goes the way you have approved, the attitude of the attendees is now outside your control. The Stoic does not carry the meeting home with them. They do not replay the arguments in their head while eating dinner with their family. You did your duty, you acted with virtue. That is enough. Remember, the Stoics were men of action. Epictetus famously said Don't talk about your philosophy, embody it. A meeting that doesn't result in action is a failure of stoic integrity. Ensure that every action item is clear, owned by an individual, and moved forward. The meeting was the preparation, the work is the reality. Running a meeting the stoic way isn't about being a cold, distant leader. It's about being the most reliable, clear-headed, and respectful person in the room. It's about realizing that while you can't control the chaos of the business world, you can always control your own character. When you stop trying to control your colleagues and start controlling your own reactions, the quality of your meetings and your life will shift. You'll find you have more time, less stress, and a team that respects you, not because of your title, but because of your composure. Thank you for joining me on the Stoic Edge. Go into your next meeting today with a clear mind and remember the obstacle is the way. Until next time, lead with virtue.